I meant to write this weeks ago, when those from other cities were planning their invasion.

But we got a dog, and we bought a house. The dog likes to chew things. And the house had a cracked kitchen floor.

Life can be a real linebacker sometimes.

If you’re coming here for Tales of the Cocktail … I’ve got some advice on digging into the real New Orleans.

These spots are not for the all-night shenanigans, or the food sourced quickly, only to sustain such debauchery. These are the spots where locals linger, spilling tea and spilling heartbreak. Here’s where we eat fish that makes us deeply proud to be coastal and take in vast wilderness that make us lucky to be Southern.

Is it going to necessarily be convenient to your seminar or your mates, pounding beers at the Alibi? No. It’s the real New Orleans, darling. We don’t generally hang at the Alibi, unless you fools are in town showing us a grand time.

Life can be a real linebacker sometimes. New Orleans’ businesses need this festival in summer. They need that real hard-fought dollar. Butts in seats. Tips over 15-percent. Reminders that hospitality is a great career choice, and that it can be not only emotionally fruitful, but financially.

Get past the French Quarter. Get past Coop’s and Mother’s, Decatur and The Ritz.

This is where New Orleans does her thing, with a shake of a hip, a deep fryer, a trombone and the splash of a literal dinosaur, moving beneath the water.

We love you, and we are glad you are here. Come explore the city.

Dine at …

Porgy’s

There’s a moment in the Deep South. It’s all wrapped in nostalgia. It’s the lunch counter.

Every town has one. And, we grew up inside. Our moms took us. And we will take our children. The lunch counter is that no-frills space with the coldest, crunchiest coleslaw and hot hushpuppies littered in salt and slathered in butter. At the lunch counter, our moms told us stories and our best friends pushed through the door, running over to crack sodas and crack jokes. These places are forever places. They dig into our rib cages, and they feed us, not only on big, ripe, August tomatoes and battered shrimp, gumbo and grits, but on the waitress knowing your name and all yer-mom-an-them.

Porgy’s is a true southern lunch counter, with a seafood market retail side. It hasn’t been around for decades. They opened last year. However, they have, because Porgy’s just has that tremendous, lovely lunch-counter soul. It was opened by the people behind Marjie’s (RIP, you awesome restaurant), and they work with small fisheries to get fresh product daily. It’s piled in a case on ice, and they will slice you up some ceviche, sprinkled with capers and lemons and dill, or slide over the world’s best catfish po-boy, dressed in a tangy, unstoppable tartar sauce. There’s ice tea. There’s beer. There’s comradery. There’s more dollars going into our struggling seafood industry; something we desperately need around here. Don’t skip this moment. If you’re looking for the South, for New Orleans, this is it. I can’t stress that enough.

Drink at …

Bar Pomona

I just found Bar Pomona a few nights ago, and I fell in love. I needed a drink. It had been a LONG day (see previous sentence about a cracked kitchen floor and just imagine my frustration at having to unexpectedly rip up a floor). My friend Sarah suggested it. I’ve been looking for new, tiny spots. It’s easy to find a mental lazy-boy in summer here, where the heat coughs wretched down your neck, and you just stumble into old faithfuls, sun-blind and out of energy.

Bar Pomona reminded me instantly of a little taverna in Greece. The ceilings are low, and the accents are blue and white. It’s rustic and charming inside. It’s been around for three years and the left-hand wall has shelves and shelves of sundries, from tins of smoked sardines to olive tapenades. You can grab a tiny souvenir and then grab an excellent Negroni or glass of rosé. The vibe is communal and thanks to the tight footprint, everyone’s sort of hanging out together. The food menu includes a lot of delightfully non-fried, healthy options, too. Snack on a conserva plate of olives and pickled egg with fresh focaccia or visit for brunch and ask for Turkish eggs.

Dine at …

Slap Burger, Hidden Inside Marie’s

Marie’s is a fantastic dive bar in the Marigny with mis-matched tables, a concrete floor, and rough-and-tumble service that basically only extends to what shot of whiskey and what cold can of beer you might need. But … in the back of Marie’s, down a short, kinda dingy hallway … exists Slap Burger. This the best burger in the city. Fight me if you must fellow locals, I will die on this freaking hill. I will die on it. It’s the best burger in the city.

It’s a craft, creamy cheese, pickle bonanza version of a Big Mac, with griddled patties and a buttery bun. There’s outstanding slap sauce. There’s grease and a really good time going on in your mouth. It arrives oozing and difficult. You’re going to say something dumb, like “I surely cannot finish this.’ Or, ‘How do I even start this.’ You will start and then finish it. And you will need an Uber and a nap. But … oh my god, Slap Burger.

Shop At …

Century Girl Vintage

Last month, I stopped in my very favorite shop, Century Girl Vintage. Lucky for me, the owner Leah Blake was there. I love it when Leah’s there. Feels like a treat. We got to chatting, as I perused racks of tulle skirts, delicate silk slips, her latest vintage jewelry collection, and the like. She asked how my life had been. I told her we finally bought a house. And, y’all, Leah reached under the counter and came out with a bottle of bubbly rosé, handed it over and screamed, “Congratulations!”

This little story is to remind you that this is the real New Orleans. Here is a city that knows its customers, remaining primed and ready to celebrate with them at a moment’s notice. She keeps bottles of bubbly under her retail counter, for moments just like this. I haven’t even opened that bottle yet, because it feels too special.

Meanwhile, if you’re looking for something truly special, ladies, this is your spot. She stocks incredible vintage from every era, in items both lofty (wedding dresses, ball gowns, fur coats) and petite (rings, belts, bags and scarves). Prices run the gamut, and even if you go to just play dress-up, it’s one of the top city shops.

Find a Swamp With …

Wild Louisiana Tours

You wanna see some swamps, but you don’t want the hackneyed, loud, garish speedboat tours, led by some dude named Ricky, who has a sad pet alligator and a disbelief in climate change? Yeah. Me too. I discovered Wild Louisiana after hunting a more authentic experience via Google, and it did not disappoint. These guys take small groups out into the swamps that most never see. I went to the Maurepas Wildlife Area, and we saw only two other boats, both fishermen, the entire four-hour excursion. Holler at them. Go see Louisiana. She is spectacular.

Take a Break At …

The Train Garden in City Park

City Park is twice the size of Central Park. It has some of the oldest Live Oaks in the world; a few have grown here for over seven centuries. It has the New Orleans Museum of Art, a crazy-cool sculpture garden and the Botanical Gardens. My favorite place in City Park is the Train Garden, where 1,300 feet of track hosts little meticulous vintage trains. On weekends, they chug past. There are tiny replicas of famous old buildings, miniature people milling about in carved clay. Little trees, little traffic lights that wink off and on. It’s darling and impressive, all in one. It’s a great place to reconnect with nature and with art.

The same could be said about our city … if you venture past a French Quarter barstool, put down your frozen Irish coffee and really seek out the best places we have.

Welcome to town, everyone! We’ve missed you dearly!