How a Bolivian Llama Fetus Saved My Career

What does one do in Bolivia when inwardly facing career doubts?

You go to see the Witches. Then you sit down with a Shaman. You carry home a suitcase full of amulets, South American holy water and one aborted llama fetus.

And you know what? Security at the airport is a real bitch. But it’s worth it.

Bolivia’s so magical, it could make a math professor belly dance. Van Morrison looks like Bill Maher compared to the average local’s faith. And after standing outside the Temple of the Dark Virgin, as the priests pour beers on Toyotas and whispers blessings for safe journeys, you’d be hard-pressed to deny that Bolivia is the scene of the Second Coming of Indiana Jones.

It’s impossible to remain unmoved by her quirky spirituality.

When I landed there this past November, I was experiencing an all-time-high level of work anxiety. There was nothing due. My slate was clean.

As a freelancer, this will lead to side effects. Shortness of breath. Rapid heartbeat. Frantic canceling of HBO, which is like putting Neosporin on a severed artery. Sacrificing Game of Thrones to save $40 per month?!

What is no one ever hires me again, I thought. What if I’ve come all the way to Bolivia and my career has dried up? Is my byline as a travel writer destined to live in eternal slumber, sandwiched between “22 Best Beaches” and “32 Things I Finally Decided to Go Do Besides Writing Incessant Lists Best Beaches Lists?”

With my worries mounting, there was nothing left to do but just give in. Bolivia enveloped me in her merry, wacky sense of mysticism. I embraced it fully, and sought out La Paz’ famous Witches Market. I forked over money for stone fists (believed to boost careers), a tiny vile of water and ribbons (blessed for bringing future money), a carved llama statue (for healing my mother’s cancer) and one actual aborted llama fetus (for providing a strong foundation in one’s life).

Later that night, I sat down with a famous shaman and asked him point blank what was happening with my career. He tossed dried coca leaves onto the dirt, gazed for a moment and then replied, “these are upside down, you see?” I nodded. I did see. I believed this mattered.

“They represent trouble in the pathway to what you want.”

I wrung my hands, not sure if I could take the bad news that I sucked as a travel writer and should find another option to ensure the HBO.

“But you see these leaves fell right-side up? These are where you are now, in this moment, and going forward just stay on the path. You’re career is the right career.”

I returned home to a job that’s kept me too busy to even write this blog until this February. My Facebook letter to Ted Cruz last week garnered 34,000 shares. My mom is cancer free.

I will dare anyone to tell me Bolivia didn’t do these things. I dare you to insinuate that my belief in a shriveled llama fetus and the heart-shaped amulet (which now lives at the foot of my bed, as the Witch instructed) did not provide these minor and major miracles.

Bolivia is enchanting – from her outrageously hospitable people to her ancient crumbling churches to her crazy bright colors, shining in the thin, hard-to-breath air.

If you go, make room in your soul to get a bit weird. Embrace the hoodoo. Open up to the occult. And I’d highly recommend booking your trip with Cox & Kings. That’s the company I traveled with and even though we crammed a 3-week itinerary into a crazy 8 days, I have zero complaints.

Here are my favorite locations for magic moments in Bolivia

La Paz

La Paz owns the distinction of being the highest capital city in the world. At just shy of 13,000 feet, you’re breathing above the altitude that Boeing 747’s are required to pressurize. A great place for combating altitude sickness and the city’s ultimate place for experiencing a little magic is the Mercado de las Brujas … a.k.a. The Witches Market. It’s actually a long street in the historic district, where the worried have come since the 1500s. Formerly, you consulted male shamans, but in the last several decades, this place has become the domain of female witches. The trade is passed mother to daughter and a well-versed witch will offer up amulets for faith and very solid skills in natural medicines, too.

The Bolivians bury llama fetuses under their houses in order to secure a strong foundation. If you have a big house, you might need more than one fetus, FYI.

Copacabana

Colorful Copacabana will remind you of a South American Sicily. Houses adorn the hillsides overlooking the pretty blue waters of Lake Titicaca. If you’re in need of some spiritual guidance here, head to the main town square and the gorgeous Temple of the Dark Virgin.  Thousands drive here from all over Bolivia and Colombia to have new vehicles blessed. The priest pour beer on the vehicles and the ladies of the town decorate them with flowers before they drive out.

Who needs an Airbag when you have a the almighty and an Anchor Steam?

Need more spiritual guidance? Grab a boat and head to the nearby Sun & Moon Islands for the day. On Sun Island, you can climb the ancient Incan stairs and then drink from The Fountain of Youth on the terraced hillside.

 The Uros Floating Islands

One of Bolivia’s most famous destinations is The Uros Floating Islands. This community of several hundred people exists on islands built entirely from the totora reeds. Everything here – from the houses to the boats to the actual dry ground beneath their feet – depends on harvesting these reeds from the water and using ancient techniques to weave them together.

Taquile

Ok, Taquile is actually on the Peruvian side of the lake, but if you’re there already, don’t be a moron and skip it. The island is a UNESCO-protected site and it’s your one-stop-shop for South America’s famous colorful textiles. Give yourself a few hours for lunch and a hike. The community here operates just as it has for hundreds of years. You can’t buy amulets or consult shamans, but you can leave with some faith that we haven’t modernized the entire world. Somehow, with all our microwaves and Macbooks, we’ve still got some old world charm hidden away … on a tiny island … in the middle of a lake … where ladies weave cloth and laugh in the sunshine, teach their kids valuable traditions and tolerate the curious onlookers, a few at a time.