For the last three days, Buddha Drinks Fanta has been runnin’ amok in Portland, Oregon. I’m here for a bartending festival (yeah, that’s a real thing) called Portland Cocktail Week. Basically a bunch of us gather together to pretend we will talk about work stuff but mostly will just act like complete jackasses in strip clubs. (Sorry to blow your cover cocktail industry.)

Anyways, I’ve been here for three days, and I’ve come to a conclusion. Portland is like one giant Instagram reel. Everything comes with a side of organic, pickled beets. Look! More fannel shirts, neatly folded in a warm fuzzy pile on a table that used to be a railroad car door. The autumn leaves here look like they’ve been photoshopped (holy crap! A red Japanese Maple?!) and I’m sorry, but does your perfect-five-o-clock-shadow, scruffy boyfriend over there have an axe? Oh … he’s just chopping firewood … for your super cool loft apartment. Got it.

You can go to an actual place called the Fruit Loop here. Apparently you drive through the fruit orchards in a loop. On a train.

Ok, look … I didn’t do that Fruit Loop thing (for many reasons), but I did chow down on some exceptional food. As much as I love to make fun of Portland, the food here is among the best in our country. Then I flooded my liver with killer cocktails and generally had a downright great time with strippers and people who probably make their livings selling candles on Etsy. My only complaint is that I had to fly out before the Wild Turkey party, where the entertainment is drinking whiskey and shooting guns. Holy shit. I mean … I don’t have words for how sad I am to miss that ridiculousness.

Alas, I’m heading back to the Alphabet City, NY, where we also drink whiskey and guns are fired, but not really in the same way. Big “thank you, Portland.” Your whole town reminds me of a Mumford and Sons song. And I’m cool with it.

Here are four Instagram photos I shot this week. You can see more (if you have nothing better to do) and follow my feed at Jennyadams22

Don’t forget to shoot your food before you eat it! #Nerds

These are Fried Chicken Sticky Buns. You get them at a ramen joint called Boke Bowl and they are possibly the best things a human has created since Game of Thrones
These are Fried Chicken Sticky Buns.
You get them at a ramen joint called Boke Bowl and they are possibly the best things a human has created since Game of Thrones
I’ve been to Burma. They don’t have this there. They do, however, have it at this AMAZING restaurant in Portland called Tasty & Sons. On the menu, it’s called The Burmese Red Pork Stew with short grain rice & eggs two ways. Clearly no one at Tasty has ever been to Burma. This should be called the Bangkok bowl. It’s freakin’ delicious and will punch your hangover in the throat
I’ve been to Burma. They don’t have this there. They do, however, have it at this AMAZING restaurant in Portland called Tasty & Sons. On the menu, it’s called The Burmese Red Pork Stew with short grain rice & eggs two ways. Clearly no one at Tasty has ever been to Burma. This should be called the Bangkok bowl. It’s freakin’ delicious and will punch your hangover in the throat
You eat that Burmese Pork Stew and then you have one of Tasty & Sons “Tasty Mary’s.” I’m talkling about a salty, cold, delicious pint of Monopolowa vodka, tomato juice, worcestershire, horseradish, lemon, sriracha, celery salt, celery stalks, and house pickles. Yep, that little red rectangle is a pickled beet. A.k.a. – Portland’s mascot. Good news – it matches your flannel shirt and that red Japanese maple outside!
You eat that Burmese Pork Stew and then you have one of Tasty & Sons “Tasty Mary’s.” I’m talkling about a salty, cold, delicious pint of Monopolowa vodka, tomato juice, worcestershire, horseradish, lemon, sriracha, celery salt, celery stalks, and house pickles. Yep, that little red rectangle is a pickled beet. A.k.a. – Portland’s mascot. Good news – it matches your flannel shirt and that red Japanese maple outside!

 

Finally, head to one of the coolest new places to get drinks, Raven & Rose. My buddy Jenn works there, so ask for her if you go. Have a Negroni upstairs, where the bar looks like a Man Cave on steroids. Oh? I can sprawl on a giant, comfy couch and eat pickles while my buddies play pool? Yeah. Sold.
Finally, head to one of the coolest new places to get drinks, Raven & Rose. My buddy Jenn works there, so ask for her if you go. Have a Negroni upstairs, where the bar looks like a Man Cave on steroids. Oh? I can sprawl on a giant, comfy couch and eat pickles while my buddies play pool? Yeah. Sold.