“Pull over. I gotta throw up. Again.”
“Wait. This is a monastery? You can’t throw up in the bushes outside a monastery!”
“Oh. Too late. Sorry Jesus.”
I got slight food poisoning on Day 2 of our six-day trip around the island of Cyprus. It was a single bite of bluefin tuna ceviche. We were in a remote village, far from the sea. Is bluefin tuna even native to the waters off Cyprus? (Pauses for quick Google search).
Okay, yes, it is. But, this fish was not fresh. I woke up and felt sick and that lasted until about Day 5. All of this is to say, maybe Cyprus under better digestive conditions would have charmed me more, but Chris also felt just a bit “meh” in moments, and his guts were working just fine.
Cyprus isn’t somewhere I’d rush to return to — but please don’t mistake that comment in thinking it wasn’t lovely. The island is home to incredible people, incredible religious sites, and beautiful beaches. So … what was it? I can’t pinpoint it exactly to be honest.
Cyprus has really interesting history and an interesting location on the earth, sandwiched by Turkey on the north, Greece to the west, Syria/Lebanon to the east and Egypt to the south. It is primed for trading and shipping industry, but what it was not prepared for was a horrible war. From the 1950s well through the 1970s, Cypriots were thrown into political upheaval, when periods of violence culminated in Turkey invading in 1974.
The island divided, and still today, the top half is Turkish (unrecognized by the United Nations) and the lower half is Greek.
Today, Nicosia is the only divided capital on earth — and an interesting place to spend the day, as half the city is recognized as Greece, half as occupied Turkey. You cross a tiny, not-much-fuss border inside the capital. I wish I’d had more time to explore the northern half of the island. I had good contacts there, just not the hours. Advice, if you’re going, is to allot a few days on the occupied northern coast and a few days on the southern half of the island. Anyone visiting can cross over, but you cannot take your rental car, if you rented it in the southern half.
Looking back at our trip, I would give Cyprus a 6/10. There were things I liked a lot, and things I did not. If you’re headed there, or merely curious about it, here are my thoughts.
The Agora Hotel, in Pano Lefkara
We stayed here the majority of our trip, heading out each day to explore various other parts of the island. Cyprus is quite small and within an hour you can find a completely different city, village, goat-strewn hillside or ancient monastery. This is an excellent home base, with a Wes Anderson aesthetic, a central swimming pool that gets plenty of sunlight, very comfy beds, excellent cuisine and a staff genuinely interested in helping you explore their town and the island. The people of Cyprus are incredible, all around.
The Agora is in Pano Lefkara, a hilly village mid-island, towards the South, famed for lace and jewelry. You can wander stone alleys, passing cats and men sipping afternoon glasses of ouzo. You can visit the large church, shop for artisan crafts and find nice meals at cute tavernas. You can do Pano Lefkara in an afternoon, honestly. So by Day 5, we loved the hotel, but the town wasn’t providing much more to explore.
Wandering Around, in Larnaca
Larnaca is a sweet little seaside town, about 20 minutes from the main airport on the Greek side of Cyprus. We stayed at the Lokál Hotel (adored it / $110/night), wandered the marina (very cute), grabbed pastries to-go from the StoArtos Bakery (delicious) and loved drinks (and admiring the rock-n-roll photography) at the Savino Rock Bar. We also toured the Holy Church of Saint Lazarus, from the 9th and 17th centuries, where you can see the tomb of the famous saint, once raised from the dead. If going back, I would give Larnaca more time.
The Edro III Shipwreck & Sunbathing, in Paphos
I really expected to like Paphos more, but like most of the major cities we visited in Cyprus (Limassol & Nicosia included), there were many outdated strip-mall-styled shops, tall buildings boasting rusted window unit air-conditioners and somewhat silent, empty downtowns. What I did love was leaving Paphos in the rearview and heading to the Edro III shipwreck about 20 minutes past town. It’s on a stunning section of coastline, bleached white with jewel-tone sandy cliffs and verdigris waters.
The Edro III isn’t an old shipwreck. It happened in 2013, when a cargo ship from Sierra Leone got caught in a storm and ran aground. It’s been left there to rust, beautifully. They removed all pollutants and left it, and I’d say, this was our favorite moment of the trip. The size of it and the landscape surrounding it was breathtaking.
If you head further east, you’ll hit Cap St. Georges Hotel. You can rent a cabana there on the private beach for a few hours, dip into a blissfully cool sea and sunbathe in huge bean bag loungers, ordering cold fruit juice or beers from the menu.
The Monastery of Cats
Cyprus has a monastery dedicated to cats. Specifically, the Holy Monastery of Saint Nicholas of the Cats, who were purportedly shipped in to take care of a snake infestation back in 327 AD. Apparently they saved the day. Supposedly these are their ancestors. I’m dubious about all of this, and I’m not sure we should have done a near two-hour drive to get to this place, where dozens of yowling felines ran around a hot parking lot as we pulled up and no one was even manning the monastery. But, I’m married to Chris Page. He loves cats. And, I’m not sure we could have skipped it, either. If you’re close, go. If not, depends.
The Food, Overall
Don’t come for me, Cypriots. I did like your food. And, I’m absolutely not basing this on the bluefin tuna. I’ve gotten sick in five-star hotels. It happens in the best places, at random moments. However, there wasn’t a meal over the entire week that I sat back and gave a contented, blissful sigh over and longingly recall, having left. There were good Georgian dumplings, nice skewers of roasted lamb, fresh pita and cold beer and stuffed dolmas. I did love the Koupes––little savory meat pies––sourced from a bakery in Lanarca. This, to me, isn’t Italy, Greece or Turkey, when it comes to food. I was wanting more flavor and more memorable meals.
The Offshore Influence
Cyprus has a lot of Russian influence, given that it’s an offshore financial hub for many an oligarch. You drive out of charming crumbling villages, with barely one taverna, a few cats, a few less locals and stunning bougainvillea, and you round a bend, and BAM! There’s another monstrous modern villa with three pools, four sundecks, a six-car garage and literally nothing around it. In Limassol, there are crypto currency outlets. Apparently, money laundering in the north is rampant.
All the Soviet-modern architecture just off the beaches, the weird Lamborghinis cruising the city main drags, and the offshore houses, built to funnel money into a tax haven, has me sad (and more than a little worried) for the future of the native Cypriots and the charms of this island. It left a strange taste in my mouth, I suppose. Maybe I’m reading into it? You can read more about it all here.
Final Thoughts:
One thing I would recommend reading before you go is a novel called The Island of the Missing Trees, by Elif Shafak. It was recommended by my buddy here in New Orleans, whose grandmother resides on the northern half of the island. The prose is exceptional, and the fictitious story revolves around a clandestine love affair during the war, between a Turkish girl and a Greek boy. Their lives are shattered and forever changed, and it follows them over decades, diving into what really happened on the island.
It’s a great insight to Cyprus, and it carved out a soft-spot in my heart for this place, which seems to struggle still with a modern identity.
I made the mistake of not leaning into the offer to meet my friend’s grandmother who lives on the northern half; to explore that side, where apparently the beaches and the food scene are incredible. So says my buddy, anyway. I stayed mostly south, with a few non-remarkable hours wandering in Nicosia.
Maybe the issue is own fault. I was daydreaming that Cyprus, given its position, would have the culinary prowess of Turkey, ancient ruins reminiscent of Greece, the storied outdoor souks of the Middle East and, somehow, an identity all its own. It has some of these moments, but not in a concrete sense. It’s not a place to drawing me back anytime soon, but I did enjoy my time there. If you are headed that way, happy to be a minor resource.
