I still cannot talk about Game Of Thrones. The ending makes me irrationally angry. Still. I will find myself rage-screaming about it to anyone who will listen. I’m not sure I’m ever going to be over it.

If you had given me the Desert Island Challenge this time last year, I would have said the entire box set of Game Of Thrones would be a fantastic choice. You could watch that shit over and over and over on a desert island and still see things you missed before.

That would have been last March. When the hype was high. As high as it’s ever been for a single show in the history of television. I can’t think about what happened in those final episodes in May. I just can’t. Now, it would all be so frustrating to watch. STOP WARGING INTO GODDAMN CROWS, BRAN! IT’S ALL POINTLESS, YOU BORING, ALOOF WEIRDO! YOU’RE NOT THE KING! I REFUSE! Oh? The North just refused too? And you’re just down with letting Sansa not bend the knee? Makes sense. NO, NO IT FREAKING DOESN’T. NOT AT ALL!

Sorry. Ok … you know what was a good series throughout? Six Feet Under. That show was freakin’ amazing. I plan to rewatch that on the desert island now. Or, if I get quarantined. Same Same.

Coronavirus is quite possibly the only thing ever discussed more fervently than Game Of Thrones. I’m trying my utmost to remember a few things right now.

  1. The Media is having a field day. Consume information and not speculation. In other words, avoid those things that have titles like, “Could This be the End of American Life as We Know It?” How is that article going to improve your day? Newsflash: It’s not. And it’s written by some goddamn intern who couldn’t pick out a salad, much less predict the demise of the western world. Don’t click it.
  2. Wash your hands. Avoid your face. Elbow bump your friends. When you can … stay home instead of venturing out. These are the ONLY things the average person can do right now. Staying in for a Netflix & Chill could keep some grandparents alive! That’s kind of a brightside, right?

Thus, I thought I’d write a blog about all the shows, books, podcasts and movies that I love … that you probably haven’t experienced. If you’re gonna stay in, might as well enjoy it.

Some of these are decently well known, but I’ve had more than one person in the last six months tell me they never watched Six Feet Under. Say what?! It’s a dark drama/comedy about a group of grown kids who inherit their father’s funeral home business. There are approximately 2,376 episodes of Six Feet Under and 89% of them are awesome.

Ok, beyond that, here’s my list. I will say, I have a penchant for horror shows, a love affair with high-action novels and a soft spot for true crime podcasts. Probably best to know that going in.

There is plenty of other stuff in this mix, too. Leave me comments with your favorite obscure books, television, and movies. I want to know about those podcasts you can’t turn off.

I’m going to make the most of Coronavirus and watch all those old movies I’ve still yet to see. If anyone wants to come by for a Sunset Boulevard/Raging Bull/Godfather marathon, my door is always open. Just bring some Purell, mofos. It’s not a brothel in Westeros, k?

TELEVISION SHOWS YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED:

THE BRINK

I am flabbergasted this absurd-but-timely comedy about the Middle East conflict was cancelled.

ASH VS. EVIL DEAD

Have you seen the ’90s horror cult flick Army of Darkness? It doesn’t matter. You can still really enjoy this tv spinoff, if you like campy comedy horror. The makeup/special effects in this one are incredible, too. Where’s my boomstick?

THE DETROITERS

Easy, breezy, and starring very lovable idiots who run an advertising office in — you guessed it — Detroit. The writing is incredibly smart and the comedic timing is perfection. Plus, the theme song is one of my favorites.

TERRIERS

No one saw this show about two private detective buddies. I don’t know where I stumbled across it, but I think Michael Raymond-James is a genius. I’ve watched the first season twice. Sadly, it was cancelled long before it deserved to be.

GOOD BEHAVIOR

Oh my god, the sex scenes in this show about a con artist/thief and a murderously good-looking hit man …
Look away, Mom. It’s not Downton Abbey. Yes, same woman, but, NO. For the love of god, don’t watch it, Mom.
Ok, do watch it, but I do not want to discuss it with you. Y’all … this show is hawt.

GOOD CHRISTIAN BITCHES

Another one that was cancelled way too early. Would my boyfriend like this? Meh. Probably not. Ladies of the South … you’re going to pee yourself laughing.
Especially all-y’all from Texas with the big, See-Me-Now-Jesus hair.

Ok, if I put up an image for the rest of these, it’ll take too long. You should also check out:

The Mist : Based off a short story by Stephen King, it’s jumpy and fun.

Enlightened : Who doesn’t want to watch Laura Dern go off the rails because her job is a freaking nightmare and she’s one beer short of an emotional six-pack?

Queen America : Some fine work Catherine Zeta Jones in this portrayal of a small town obsessed with beauty pageants. You can watch free on Facebook. I hope we get a second season.

Episodes : Quippy, cerebral, funny and just weird-but-it-works … it’s a show where Matt LeBlanc plays himself, at his current age, in Hollywood. But he’s a total dick and essentially mentally tortures these two British producers.

90 Day Fiance : For all you lovers of Reality TV, there is NONE BETTER. I could not stop watching after one episode and now I’ve seen all four seasons. And no, it’s not only because I date someone overseas. These people are a hot mess and everything is riveting. Maybe I’m a hot mess and riveting? Yeah. Sure. Ok.

MOVIES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED:

THE LUNCHBOX

Definitely a chick-flick/love story, but visually very warm and engaging, colorful and it’s a nice way to have a bit of armchair travel to India — since right now we cannot easily travel to India. Adored it.

THE HARDER THEY COME

This has enough accolades on the poster. You don’t need me here.

SABRINA

The best Hepburn movie of all time. Fight me.

STELLAR PODCASTS:

JOE EXOTIC

Joe Exotic is a bisexual, bipolar who owns a large cat breeding farm in Florida. Until a suburban housewife comes for him, and tries to ruin his business. So, he tries to kill her. Yeah, you need to listen to this shit.

THE SHRINK NEXT DOOR

Another captivating mini series about a psychiatrist who manipulates his patients into giving him things, from mansions to their entire life savings.

HOW DID THIS GET MADE

The best episodes are Roadhouse and Maximum Overdrive. However, you’ll want to watch each of those movies again, and then listen to these three comedians shred them to pieces. That’s how you get maximum laughs.

DOLLY PARTON’S AMERICA

Dolly Parton’s America is one of the best podcasts out right now. It takes you inside her life, her career, her best moments and some of her worst. Engaging to the point of happy tears.

BOOKS THAT BLEW MY MIND:

The Lies of Locke Lamora: The Gentleman Bastard Series, by Scott Lynch

Rules of Civility, by Amor Towles

Dark Carousel, by Joe Hill

The Girl with 7 Names, A North Korea Defector’s Story, by Hyeonseo Lee

Apathy and Other Small Victories, by Paul Neilan

The Troop, by Nick Cutter

That’s it for now. Maybe I’ll add more later.

Hit me up please in the comments with your advice for my own attempts to stay home and battle the contagion in my pajamas. Stay safe and sensible, everyone.